DI Robert Lewis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justanothercop) wrote2012-03-08 11:46 pm
justanothercop) wrote2012-03-08 11:46 pm
Entry tags:
Fanfic - "Rose of England"
Title: Rose of England
Fandom: Inspector Morse and Lewis
Spoilers: Only for the First Series
Rating: R for suicide triggers
Rose of England, sweet and fair, shining with the sun,
Rose of England, have a care, for where the thorn is,
There the blood will run ~ Chris de Burgh
Wind whistled through the tree branches, threatening to tear the remaining shriveled leaves loose. Gusts whipped up the light dusting of snow here and there almost like the spirits of the long dead rising from the ground. The darkened skies overhead did nothing to alleviate the feelings of loneliness and melancholy which seemed to hang over every last inch of the graveyard.
Of course, that was to be expected. It wouldn't do for the day to be bright and clear. Mother Nature had no right to make the scene cheerful - not on this day. For it to be such would be a mockery of what had occurred only the year before.
There was no one else around as heavy footsteps crunched over the frozen earth. To Inspector Lewis, two people had died that day one year ago exactly - his wife and him. His hand wiped across the grey headstone, clearing away the snow so the name could be read -
Valerie Susan Lewis
He squatted down in front of the stone. The man didn't know why he was there. It wasn't like Val would hear him - she was gone forever. Yet, somehow being at her grave made her feel close to him again. He thought to say something but when he opened his mouth nothing came out except a strangled cry. He buried his face in his hands and began to sob, uncontrollably. Unconsciously, his body rocked back and forth, ever so slightly. It was a feeble attempt to find some sort of comfort for himself but it failed.
Memories flashed back into him mind - memories of crime scene tape and blood. All around nosy sods poked in, trying to see what had happened. He had to push through them to get to her - to Val. All the noise and yelling - it was back in vivid detail. The sound of someone crying out, wailing, with unimaginable pain echoed in his ears even now. It had been him.
A year later and the pain had not lessened. It hurt so much - his heart still a gaping wound and his soul still in tatters. It was too much to bear - he wanted to die. If it meant he could leave behind this horrific suffering then death would be a blessing. It wouldn't matter if he had no closure as he would have fallen away into that eternal sleep.
The only thing that had kept him from taking his life was his children. But with each passing day his resolve was weakening. Everywhere he looked he saw Val. He still expected to wake up and have her lying next to him in bed. This could not be real. It had to be a nightmare.
But it wasn't - it was reality. It was a horror show he lived everyday. Getting out of bed each morning meant another day of pain. His heart was growing cold and hateful. He longed for revenge - to make someone pay.
Sighing heavily, Lewis finally wiped away his tears and allowed his fingertips to drift over the writing on the headstone. What was the point? What did he have left in this world?
He stood and fixed his gaze on his car which was parked nearby. Taking one final look at his beloved wife's grave he strode off toward the car. The decision had been made. He carefully nosed his car out of the graveyard and out of town. On the seat next to him was a note. He didn't want there to be any doubt as to what had happened.
Gradually, the car picked up speed. Lewis hadn't bothered with his seatbelt. He didn't want there to be any chance that he would survive this. The winding roads and trees would make for a suitable end. His mind was so overwhelmed with the darkness he had fallen into that sensible thoughts - thoughts of his children and his own survival instinct - were suppressed. He couldn't see anything beyond his suffering any more - the depths swallowing him up.
He was so blinded by his need for self-destruction that he didn't hear his phone at first. "Dammit to HELL!" he yelled to himself. How could he had been so stupid as to leave the phone on? He tried to ignore it but the incessant ring was breaking his concentration. Just when he thought the person had given up the phone began to ring again.
Unable to think, Lewis finally dug out his cellphone. "WHAT?!" he practically snarled at the unsuspecting person on the other end.
"And, 'Hello,' to you, too, Lewis," a distinctive female voice replied, sounding less than impressed.
"What do you want, Hobson?"
"I have some follow up bits to the Jensen autopsy that I wanted to go over with you."
"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something." As much as he tried Lewis was unable to keep an unsettling tone out of his voice, his foot never letting up on the accelerator.
There was a pause on the other end of the call and when Hobson finally spoke again her voice was softer, concern and even some fear creeping into it. "Robbie. Robbie? What are you doing?"
"Taking a drive in the country."
"Robbie, you need to come back to town. Now."
"Why?"
"Because I need to see you. Please, Robbie - come back." Hobson's tone made it obvious that she wasn't just talking about coming back to town.
Fandom: Inspector Morse and Lewis
Spoilers: Only for the First Series
Rating: R for suicide triggers
Rose of England, sweet and fair, shining with the sun,
Rose of England, have a care, for where the thorn is,
There the blood will run ~ Chris de Burgh
Wind whistled through the tree branches, threatening to tear the remaining shriveled leaves loose. Gusts whipped up the light dusting of snow here and there almost like the spirits of the long dead rising from the ground. The darkened skies overhead did nothing to alleviate the feelings of loneliness and melancholy which seemed to hang over every last inch of the graveyard.
Of course, that was to be expected. It wouldn't do for the day to be bright and clear. Mother Nature had no right to make the scene cheerful - not on this day. For it to be such would be a mockery of what had occurred only the year before.
There was no one else around as heavy footsteps crunched over the frozen earth. To Inspector Lewis, two people had died that day one year ago exactly - his wife and him. His hand wiped across the grey headstone, clearing away the snow so the name could be read -
Valerie Susan Lewis
He squatted down in front of the stone. The man didn't know why he was there. It wasn't like Val would hear him - she was gone forever. Yet, somehow being at her grave made her feel close to him again. He thought to say something but when he opened his mouth nothing came out except a strangled cry. He buried his face in his hands and began to sob, uncontrollably. Unconsciously, his body rocked back and forth, ever so slightly. It was a feeble attempt to find some sort of comfort for himself but it failed.
Memories flashed back into him mind - memories of crime scene tape and blood. All around nosy sods poked in, trying to see what had happened. He had to push through them to get to her - to Val. All the noise and yelling - it was back in vivid detail. The sound of someone crying out, wailing, with unimaginable pain echoed in his ears even now. It had been him.
A year later and the pain had not lessened. It hurt so much - his heart still a gaping wound and his soul still in tatters. It was too much to bear - he wanted to die. If it meant he could leave behind this horrific suffering then death would be a blessing. It wouldn't matter if he had no closure as he would have fallen away into that eternal sleep.
The only thing that had kept him from taking his life was his children. But with each passing day his resolve was weakening. Everywhere he looked he saw Val. He still expected to wake up and have her lying next to him in bed. This could not be real. It had to be a nightmare.
But it wasn't - it was reality. It was a horror show he lived everyday. Getting out of bed each morning meant another day of pain. His heart was growing cold and hateful. He longed for revenge - to make someone pay.
Sighing heavily, Lewis finally wiped away his tears and allowed his fingertips to drift over the writing on the headstone. What was the point? What did he have left in this world?
He stood and fixed his gaze on his car which was parked nearby. Taking one final look at his beloved wife's grave he strode off toward the car. The decision had been made. He carefully nosed his car out of the graveyard and out of town. On the seat next to him was a note. He didn't want there to be any doubt as to what had happened.
Gradually, the car picked up speed. Lewis hadn't bothered with his seatbelt. He didn't want there to be any chance that he would survive this. The winding roads and trees would make for a suitable end. His mind was so overwhelmed with the darkness he had fallen into that sensible thoughts - thoughts of his children and his own survival instinct - were suppressed. He couldn't see anything beyond his suffering any more - the depths swallowing him up.
He was so blinded by his need for self-destruction that he didn't hear his phone at first. "Dammit to HELL!" he yelled to himself. How could he had been so stupid as to leave the phone on? He tried to ignore it but the incessant ring was breaking his concentration. Just when he thought the person had given up the phone began to ring again.
Unable to think, Lewis finally dug out his cellphone. "WHAT?!" he practically snarled at the unsuspecting person on the other end.
"And, 'Hello,' to you, too, Lewis," a distinctive female voice replied, sounding less than impressed.
"What do you want, Hobson?"
"I have some follow up bits to the Jensen autopsy that I wanted to go over with you."
"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something." As much as he tried Lewis was unable to keep an unsettling tone out of his voice, his foot never letting up on the accelerator.
There was a pause on the other end of the call and when Hobson finally spoke again her voice was softer, concern and even some fear creeping into it. "Robbie. Robbie? What are you doing?"
"Taking a drive in the country."
"Robbie, you need to come back to town. Now."
"Why?"
"Because I need to see you. Please, Robbie - come back." Hobson's tone made it obvious that she wasn't just talking about coming back to town.